So you want to know how to elope. First of all: y’all are my kind of people. Second: take a deep breath, because it is so much easier than planning a traditional wedding, and I’m about to walk you through every single step. I’ve spent 20 years photographing weddings and elopements everywhere from Alaskan glaciers to Icelandic waterfalls to Caribbean sand, and this guide is everything I wish every couple knew before they started dreaming out loud.

Bookmark this page. It’s long on purpose, because when you finish it, you’ll know exactly how to elope, legally, beautifully, and without a single stressed-out group text from your mother.

First: What Eloping Actually Means (It’s Not What Grandma Thinks)

A modern elopement is a small, intentional wedding built entirely around the two of you. It can be just you two on a cliff at sunrise, or you plus your 20 favorite humans around a campfire. There’s no courthouse required, no shame, no secret. If you want the full myth-busting rundown, I wrote a whole post on what an elopement is (and the top 10 myths about eloping).

Here’s the short version: eloping means trading the performance for the experience. Everything below is about building that experience step by step.

Step 1: Decide What Your Perfect Day Actually Looks Like

Before you Google a single location, sit down with your person and a bottle of something good, and each answer these three questions:

• When you picture the moment you say your vows, what do you see around you? Ocean, mountains, forest, desert, glacier?
• Who, if anyone, absolutely has to be standing there with you?
• What do you want to feel at the end of the day: wild adventure, deep calm, barefoot joy?

Every other decision, location, budget, guest list, gets easy once you know these answers. This is the exact exercise I do with my couples, and it’s also the heart of my free Destination Elopement Starter Guide, which has a workbook page for exactly this conversation.

Step 2: Pick Your Location (This Is the Fun Part)

The world is genuinely your venue. I keep a growing library of location guides, each one covers the best spots, permits, seasons, and the upgraded experiences most couples don’t know exist:

• Alaska — glaciers, seaplanes, and wild everything
• Iceland — waterfalls and black sand beaches
• Glacier National Park, Montana
• The California Redwoods
• Hawaii
• Destin, Florida
• Barbados
• Riviera Maya, Mexico
• Italy, Greece, Switzerland, Ireland, Scotland
• Bali

Or browse every guide in one place: destination elopement locations.

Can’t decide? That’s literally a service I offer. My couples hire me to build a custom presentation of locations matched to their personalities, budget, style, guest count, and the experiences they’re craving, and the fee goes toward your retainer when you book. Ask me about a Location Matchmaker Session.

Step 3: Set a Real Budget (Eloping Costs Less Than You Think)

The average traditional U.S. wedding runs well past $30,000. Most of my couples elope, travel included, for a fraction of that. Here’s the honest breakdown of what to plan for:

• Photographer: usually the biggest line item, because your photos and the guidance that comes with them ARE the elopement. Experienced destination elopement photographers typically run $4,000–$12,000 with travel.
• Travel and lodging: flights, a cabin or villa for a few nights. This doubles as your honeymoon, one budget, two purposes.
• Permits and legal: marriage license ($20–$120), park permits ($50–$300 in most U.S. national parks).
• The good stuff: florals, a private chef dinner, a helicopter or seaplane ride, hair and makeup.

The magic of learning how to elope on a budget isn’t cutting corners, it’s that every dollar goes to something you’ll actually remember.

Step 4: How to Elope Legally (The Paperwork Nobody Explains)

This is the step that scares couples the most, and it should scare you the least. Three routes:

1. Marry where you elope (U.S.): get a marriage license from the county where you’ll say your vows, mind the waiting period (0–5 days depending on the state), and have an officiant plus witnesses if required. Fun fact: I hold a legal ordination, so in most states I can sign your license myself, one less vendor to book.
2. Marry abroad: some countries make legal marriage easy for foreigners and some make it a paperwork nightmare. The U.S. State Department keeps an official rundown of marriage abroad requirements.
3. The pro move: sign the legal papers at your local courthouse the week before, then have your real ceremony, vows, tears, all of it, anywhere on Earth with zero foreign bureaucracy. Nobody but the county clerk will ever know the difference, and your anniversary is whichever day you choose to count.

If you’re eloping in a national park, you’ll also need a special use permit, check the park’s page on nps.gov or just ask me, because I’ve pulled these permits for years.

Step 5: Choose Your Date Like a Local, Not a Tourist

Season beats date, every time. The two weeks your dream waterfall road is closed, hurricane season in the Caribbean, midge season in Scotland, permit blackout dates in the parks, this is the stuff that wrecks elopements when couples book flights first. Stay flexible on the exact date, lock the season, and let your photographer sanity-check the timing before anything is non-refundable.

Step 6: Book Your Photographer BEFORE Your Flights

Not because I’m a photographer, but because your photographer is your planner, permit-puller, location scout, timeline builder, and hype crew rolled into one. We know which beach is empty at sunrise and which trailhead floods in May. Book the photographer, then build travel around the plan, that order saves couples thousands.

Step 7: Build a Timeline With Room to Breathe

A sample day from my files, sunrise beach elopement:

• 5:15am — hair, makeup, coffee, nerves, laughing
• 6:30am — first look as the sky goes pink
• 7:00am — vows on an empty beach (crowds show up around 9, we’ll be done)
• 8:00am — champagne, barefoot portraits, playing in the water
• 10:00am — brunch. You’re married and it’s not even lunch.
• Sunset — second portrait session in a completely different location, because you can

One day, two golden hours, zero rushing. That’s the elopement difference.

Step 8: Wear What You’ll Actually Move In

Flowy dresses photograph like a dream in wind. If we’re hiking, you’ll want boots under that hem (yes, it looks amazing). Bring a layer for summit cold. And pack your outfit in your carry-on, ALWAYS in the carry-on.

Step 9: Tell Your Family (Scripts Included)

The number one fear isn’t legal paperwork, it’s Mom. Three honest options:

• Tell them before: “We’ve decided to get married in [place], just us. It’s not about excluding anyone, it’s about how we want to start. We’d love to celebrate with everyone at a party after.”
• Include a few: an elopement with your six favorite people is still an elopement.
• Announce after: throw the coming-home party. The people who love you will get over it faster than you think, I’ve watched it happen for 20 years.

Step 10: Write Vows That Sound Like You

No audience means no performance. Say the real stuff. If you’re stuck: tell them the moment you knew, the thing you promise on ordinary Tuesdays, and the future you’re choosing. Three paragraphs, straight from the chest, that’s it. I’ll hold your vow books and hand you tissues.

Eloping vs. a Wedding: The Honest Comparison

A traditional wedding gives you one venue, one timeline, and about 10 minutes alone together. Learning how to elope gives you a full day (or several) built entirely around the two of you, in the most beautiful place you can dream up, usually for less money. Neither is wrong. But if you’ve read this far, you already know which one is yours.

How to Elope: Quick FAQ

How much does it cost to elope? Most of my couples spend $6,000–$15,000 all-in, including travel, versus $30,000+ for a traditional wedding.

Can we bring family? Absolutely. Up to about 30 people still feels like an elopement. It’s about intention, not headcount.

Is eloping legal? Completely, you get a real marriage license, real officiant (hi, that can be me), real marriage. Or do the courthouse-first move and have your ceremony anywhere.

How far in advance should we plan? 6–12 months is the sweet spot for permits, travel deals, and your date with your photographer. But I’ve pulled off beautiful elopements in six weeks.

Ready to Start? Grab the Free Starter Guide

I made a free Destination Elopement Starter Guide, a workbook that walks you through choosing your place, your season, and your budget, with links to every location guide I’ve written. It’s the exact starting point I give my own couples.

And when a destination starts whispering at you, here’s how we do this together, or just come say hi. I answer every single message myself.

We’ll see you at sunrise. (wink, wink)